Question: Reasons behind being sub?

I’d just like to say i rather admire you, im a 18 year old girl, & so many men act like sex is some kind of dirty heartless act, to me its the closest you can be to someone, so im abit up tight, i can’t have sex with just anyone, i want to ask your opinion on something because you don’t seem judgmental, i grew up with christian parents & grandparents. i was grounded for staying at my boyfriend’s house & my mother always tried to control anything like that. Now if i have sex, i always have to be a sub, to just be powerless with no say or anything maybe i dont have the confidence i dont know but id like to know why you think that may be or how i could deal with it? ta, pixie x

Hello Pixie,

I am glad that you took the step to write to me  and I apologize for taking some time to write back to you.

First of all, deciding not to have sex with anyone doesn’t make you “up tight” every single human being is different and these standards are being forced by our communities but the one thing that matters is how you feel about the things you do, so don’t feel the pressure to have more or less sex unless you want that.

There are LOTS of girls AND men who like to be submissive in bed, it’s not a disease nor something bad. The question is, do YOU like being submissive? Or do you feel that you want something different?

You were asking about how to change it.. why would you like to change that?

A common reason that I have personally seen about liking to be submissive is that the submissive person feels free, nothing to worry about since they are not in control. Another reason that I have seen also, is that some people deep inside have some guilt feelings associated with sex .. and to be able to enjoy sex, they need to feel that this pleasure is being forced and it’s not their choice.

Again, I need to stress that these are just some reasons, there are people who love being submissive just because they love doing it that way, period!

Personally, I am more on the dominant side, yet still from time to time I wouldn’t mind letting the girl i am with to tie me up and take her time and do it her way.

Let me know how do you feel about what I said.

All other readers, would you like to add something to Pixie?

(Source: samdln.wordpress.com)